


The Fear of the Past

by imaginationranwild



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Friendship/Love, Her father is a criminal, Her sister an FBI agent, Major Character Injury, Original Character(s), Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Torture, Stella has a dark past, Stellaride is real, Undercover, injured in fire, injured undercover
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-01-22 04:16:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 8,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12473276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginationranwild/pseuds/imaginationranwild
Summary: This is a fanfic surrounding Stella Kidd, Kelly Severide, and my own character Rebecca Kidd. Some things from Stella's past that she hoped she would never have to endure again resurface. Comment below any feedback, questions or suggestions! I will try to add new chapters every week!





	1. Chapter 1

Stella’s POV:

As Stella’s clock changed to 6:30, the blaring alarm went off. Stella awoke with a start, “huh?” she gasped looking around. 

“Where am I?” she thought to herself, “Oh right, I’m crashing at Kelly’s. This is going to take some getting used to.” she thought, shaking her head. She looked at her clock, “ugh, why do we have to go to work so early?!” she exclaimed.

“Because fires don’t follow our schedules, we follow the fire’s schedule.” Kelly said as he walked by her door.

“Because fires don’t follow our schedules, we follow the fire’s schedule.” she mimicked.

“I heard that!” Kelly called.

“Good!” Stella Yelled back.

As Stella emerged from her room, she watched as Kelly looked her up and down as she approached her. “Good morning,” he said looking up at her and grinning like a little kid, “did you sleep well?”

She lowered herself to his eye level “Oh I slept very well.” 

She grabbed a cup from the cabinet and filled it with coffee. While most would think that she liked it black, she actually preferred her coffee with a little milk, and two teaspoons of sugar. “Well if you will excuse me,” she said raising her mug, “I’m going to go take a shower.”

As she turned and walked away, she could feel Kelly’s warm gaze on her back as she retreated to her room. While getting ready for work, Stella’s mind wandered back to the guy she will always remember crashing through her skylight, singing with a six pack of beer and a rose in his mouth. “Ah, Kelly Severide,”  she chuckled, “what am I going to do with you?”

Severide’s POV:

He watched Stella walk out of the room, turning back to his coffee, “What have I gotten myself into?” he laughed to himself.

As he walked back to his room, he heard Stella muttering to herself. He heard her chuckle “Ah, Kelly Severide, what am I going to do with you?”

“I have a few ideas.” He said through the door.

He didn’t wait to hear her response as he made his way back to his room. As he pulled on his shirt his mind drifted back to Stella. “She’s always been there for me.” he thought to himself, “There is no one else I’d rather have by my side to make me feel better. I don’t know what I’d do without her.”

His thoughts were interrupted by Stella’s voice calling through the door: “Let’s go pretty boy, don’t worry your reflection will still be there for you to look at when we get back.”

Kelly shook his head and chuckled “Oh Stella, don’t ever change.”


	2. A Different Side of Stella

Stella's POV:

I stood by the door waiting for Kelly. When he came out of his room, he cocked an eyebrow at me and asked "what are you doing? You have a car, I don't know why you're waiting for me."

"I thought that maybe we could ride in together. Because it would be easier." I offered.

"Ya sure, okay." he eyed me, "Let me just get my stuff."

"Okay." I said. "Oh jeez," I thought to myself, "Dawson is going to have a field day with this."

Nobody's POV:

When Stella and Kelly got to the Firehouse, and as they walked into the main common area, the conversations around them dissipated. Herman looked up from his newspaper and surveyed the young firefighters that had just walked through the door. "Well what do we have here?" He asked no one in particular.

Kelly shook his head smiling and walked out of the room to his own office. Once Kelly left the room, all eyes turned to look at Stella. "What?" she asked.

"Can I not catch a ride with Severide? He's letting me crash at his place." she said.

Before she could get an answer, she turned on her heels, and swiftly walked out of the room and headed towards the lockers.

~ A Few Hours Later ~

Severide's POV:

I looked over at my bedside clock. "10:30," I grunted. "I've got to get some sleep."

I peered out at the beds that the rest of the house slept in, and I saw a light coming from the bed in Stella's corner. "I wonder why she's still up." I thought to myself.

I got up and quietly walked over to her. I put my hand on her shoulder as I sat down next to her. I felt her jump and through the dark, I could see she was upset. "What's wrong?" I asked her.

She just shook her head and buried her face into my neck. "Hey," I said, "Its ok." I looked down at her, she didn't move. I put my arm around her waist, and whispered into her ear, "come with me."

I led her to my office and sat her down on my bed. "What's going on?" I asked her.

"It's nothing." she replied.

"It didn't seem like nothing." I countered. She looked up at me and sighed. She pulled up the text she'd been looking at. It was from Antonio. "Call me, it's about your sister." I read.

I shifted my gaze back at Stella, "You have a sister?" I asked. She nodded, a tear escaping from her eye as she looked down. "Come here," I said wrapping an arm around her and pulling her to my chest. "We can talk about this later okay?"

"Okay," she said meekly "Thank you Kelly."

"You know I'm here for you anytime you need Stella." I told her. She turned and nodded, "I know." she whispered as she closed my office door, and headed back to her bed.

A deep fear settled into my stomach that I couldn't identify. "I hope she's ok." I thought to myself, as I turned over and drifted into sleep.


	3. Cracking Her Walls

Stella’s POV:

 

I woke up to the familiar sound of the alarm notifying us that we had a call. I looked at the time on my phone, “3:00 am,” I moaned, “Man am I tired. I can’t wait for the shift to be over.” I thought to myself.

I watched as Kelly hopped into the squad truck besides me and he caught my eye, giving me a worried but reassuring glance, as his truck sped off before mine. “I want to tell you Kelly,” I thought to myself, “But I’m afraid of how'll you'll react.”

I shrank back into the wall of the truck, the cool metal against the back of my neck soothing me as we rode along in the night.

~ 4 Hours later ~

Nobody’s POV:

 

It’s 7:00am and their shift has just ended. Stella and Kelly walk out of the firehouse towards Kelly’s car.

“Hey, do you want to get breakfast?” Kelly asked turning to Stella, “We can go to Sunny Side Up.”

“Who am I to pass up free food?” Stella grinned.

“Who said I’m buying?” Kelly asked a smile forming at the edges of his mouth.

“Well usually a gentleman such as yourself,” she gestured to Kelly, “when you offer something, you normally plan on buying.” she said teasingly. 

“Is that so?” Kelly said, glancing at Stella through the corner of his eye.

“Yeah.” Stella said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“I’ll have to keep that in mind then.” Kelly said as he sat in the driver's seat of his Camero.

 

Later that night, Stella is cooking dinner, and Severide walks in.

Stella’s POV:

I hear the patter of Kelly’s footsteps as he enters the room. “You didn’t have to make dinner,” he said as he opened the refrigerator, “Or buy groceries.”

“Its no trouble,” I said, “Its just a little something to say thank you.”

“Well it smells delicious.” he said, peering over my shoulder.

“I try.” I said, flashing him a coy smile. I shift my focus back to my task at hand. I began to hum some lines from Baby Blue by Zachary Kibbee, “You are my heart, you are my soul, and I feel empty inside when you are not home..” I trail off as I hear the song coming from the speakers above me. I turn around to see Kelly looking at me. He walked towards me, with that stupid smirk on his face.

“Don’t stop singing Stella,” he said looking at me, “I like it when you sing.” Before I had time to react, he took my hand in his, and spun me around. 

“You’re such a goof ball.” I said swatting at his hands.

“Oh, come on.” he pleaded, “Just this one dance?”

“Fine.” I muttered. He pulled me closer, and we just stayed there, swaying back and forth throughout the rest of the song. “I could get used to this.” I thought to myself. When the song ended, I went back to finishing the meal I was preparing, and wondering what had gotten into Kelly.

 

Severide’s POV:

As we sat down to eat, I watched Stella for a moment. I had two things I wanted to ask her that were burning in the back of my mind. “Hey Stella?” I asked. 

“Yeah Kelly?” she said looking up at me, arching her eyebrow.

“Are you ever going to tell me what happened last night?” I watched the expression on her face change.

“It’s a long story-” she started.

“I get it.” I said “Just know I’m always here for you, okay?”

“I know, Kelly.” she said, looking up at me. We continued to eat dinner in silence. When we finished, Stella got up to clear the table.

“Oh, no. You made dinner so I’m cleaning up.” I scolded.

“Okay, okay.” she said, her hands up in surrender, a smile crossing her lips.

“That’s an order!” I said, trying to give her a stern look without smiling. 

“Yes, lieutenant.” she joked, “understood.” She saluted me, and begun marching out of the room with her posture stiff and a straight face. I shook my head chuckling as I shifted back to washing the dishes, but another thought popping into my mind.

“Oh, and Stella,” I started, she stopped and turned, a more serious expression on her face, “Would you be my date to the academy dinner?” Stella stood there, a shocked look on her face. “Just as friends.” I reassured her. 

“I don’t know-” she began, 

“Just think about it, okay?” I said.

“Okay.” she said

 

Stella’s POV:

As I headed back to my room, I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. Pulling it out, I saw I had gotten another text from Antonio. “Why don’t you come by the station tomorrow? I need to talk to you about your sister and your father.” I felt my stomach knot. I hadn’t seen my sister in years, and I never wanted to see my father again. I tried to push my anxiety aside and tried to fall asleep. After tossing and turning for two hours, I sat up in my bed and put my head in my hands. Running my fingers through my hair, I got up out of bed and headed towards my door.

 

Severide’s POV:

I sat in my bed looking at the wall. I was worried about Stella. I know she can take care of herself, but I hadn’t ever seen her so worried and frightened before, not even when Grant attacked her with a knife. With a burst of determination to figure out what was wrong, I got up out of bed. As I neared the door, I heard a knock at my door and Stella say in a small cracking voice: “Hey Kelly can I talk to you?”


	4. A New Discovery

Severide’s POV:

I felt my gut wrench at the sound of her voice. Stella never sounded like that, there was always loud with a hint of sarcasm and wit, but the voice I heard was quiet and fearful. I pulled open the door to see a very different Stella before me. Her eyes were bloodshot and ringed with darkness, her shoulders were hunched over, and I could see she was trying to stop her hands from shaking. I led her into my room and sat her down on my bed. The Stella I knew stood tall and took up room with her stance and personality. But the Stella I saw sitting before me seemed so small. “I-I want to tell you about why I was upset last night.”

“Okay.” I said softly, “Take as much time as you need.” She nodded, “I got a text from Antonio last night.” she paused, “He wants to talk to me about my sister…” she trailed off.

“Stella has a sister?” I thought to myself. “Okay..” I said, looking at Stella.

“..and my father.” she finished, the same expression of fear flashing across her face. “He wants me to go down to the station.”

“Why?” I asked.

“I don’t know.” she said quietly. “I’m scared.” she said, her voice barely a whisper.

“Do you want me to go with you?” I asked, confused as to why she was so worried.

“I don’t want to get you into trouble with Boden.” 

“Don’t worry about that, okay? I’ll go with you.” I reassured her.

“Okay.” she whispered. “Thank you Kelly.” I enveloped her in a hug holding her tightly. “Oh Stella,” I thought to myself, “what could possibly change you from a strong and witty woman, into a fragile and fearful one?”


	5. Soon to Discover

Stella’s POV:

 

Kelly and I took our own cars to work today, and during my drive into work, my mind drifted to thinking about what Antonio needed to talk to me about. I parked my car and just sat there for a bit, staring off into space, my hand on the car door handle. I didn’t move. I heard a tap on my window, and I turned to see Gabby’s face peering down at me, her brow furrowed in concern. I opened my door, giving her a small smile.   
“Hey, is everything okay?” she asked a worried expression crossing her face.

“Of course I am.” I replied my voice sounding a little too chipper, “why wouldn’t I be?”

“I got a call from Antonio, he said he’s been trying to reach you.”

“Yeah, I’m going to go see him today.” I said my eye catching Kelly’s as he walked pass us heading towards the firehouse. “I’ve got to clear it with Boden first.”

“Okay..” she said, not sounding convinced. “As long as you’re okay.”

“I am.” I said, flashing her a smile, “Now lets go see whats for breakfast.”

We walked up to the firehouse, as we passed the kitchen, I smelled the familiar smell of eggs, bacon, and coffee wafting through the air. I put my stuff away in my locker, “You wanna go grab some breakfast before the guys eat it all?” she laughed.

“You go ahead,” I said, “I need to talk to chief.”

“Your loss.” Gabby smiled as she walked out of the room towards the kitchen, I turned and made my way to the chief’s office.”

Severide’s POV:

I knocked on the chief’s office door. “Come in.” he said not looking up from his paper work.

“Hey chief.” I began, “I need to talk to you about something.” 

He looked up concerned, “Everything okay son?” he asked.

“I wanted to ask if it was okay if I went down to the station with Stella today.” I saw him arch an eyebrow. “I mean, once she’s talked to you about going down there today.” I added. “If you let her go, can I go with her?”

“What’s this all about?” Boden asked.

“Antonio has been trying to reach Stella to talk to her about her sister and her father, I think.” I told him, “I don’t know there’s something about this situation that doesn’t feel right.”

“How do you mean?” he asked me.

“Stella’s reaction to the whole thing makes me think that there’s more to this meeting than just talking.”

“Good to know.” he nodded “Thank you for letting me know Kelly. come back after I’ve spoken to Stella and we can discuss whether or not you can go.”

“Okay. Thank you chief.” I rose from my seat and walked to the door. I pulled it open to see Stella coming down the hall towards the chief’s office. I gave her shoulder a squeeze as I passed her, making my way to the kitchen.

 

Stella’s POV:

I saw Kelly leave chief Boden’s office, he gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze as he passed me. I took a deep breath and walked towards the office door. I knocked lightly on the door and I heard him say “Come on in Stella.”

He nodded at me, “Take a seat.” I sat down and raised my eyes to meet his. “So what’s this I’ve heard about you going down to the station?”

“Antonio has been getting contacting me, and asked if I had time to go down to the station to talk about some things.” 

“I see.” he said watching me carefully. “Is this not something that can be discussed over the phone?”

“Given the topics that he wanted to talk about, I don't think its something that can be over the phone.”

“Is this something I should be concerned about?” he asked, his expression changing.

“I don’t know.” I said, my voice small. 

“Okay then-” he started but the alarm cut him off. Raising his voice he said “you can go after this call.”

“Thank you!” I called, running towards the floor.

~ Two Hours Later ~

As the truck rolled back into garage, I saw Kelly jump out of the squad in pursuit of chief. I climbed out of the truck, taking off my boots and rehanging my gear in preparation for the next call, I turned around to see Kelly standing there. “You ready?” he asked.

“Yeah, lets get this over with.” I gave him a small smile as we headed to our cars.

We walked up to the front desk that Trudy was managing, she was on the phone but she looked over at us and nodded, buzzing us up to Intelligence . “Hey.” Antonio said, looking at Kelly.

“Its okay.” I said.

“Alright..” Antonio said sounding hesitant. “Lets go in to the break room.” He led us into a room that had a small fridge, a dishwasher, and a sink. “I’ll be back in just a moment.” he said. Kelly and I shared a glance, unsure what we were about to find out. I heard footsteps behind me and a quiet voice say:

“Hey Stella Bella.”


	6. Stella's Sister

Stella’s POV:

“It can’t be…” I thought to myself. I whipped my head around and there she was. My sister. I hadn’t seen her for three years. I sprang from my chair collided with her in a hug. “I thought you were dead.” my voice cracked, “I can’t believe you’re alive.”

“You can’t kill me that easily.” she said smugly. I laughed. Before I could turn around, I heard Kelly say behind me “Rebecca?” I turned around confused.

“How do you know my sister?” I asked.

“He pulled me out of a fire.” my sister said.

“Two months before you joined firehouse 51.” Kelly added.

“Oh.” I said.

Rebecca’s POV: 

I missed my sister so much, but I couldn’t see her, it was too dangerous, for both of us. She looked good. I hope she's not still with that idiot Grant, I always got a very unstable vibe from him. I looked back at my sister who was smiling, telling Kelly some story from we were kids. I wish I could see her under better circumstances, this visit was going to bring up the hell that was our childhood. Even though Stella’s older than me, she’s always been fragile. I’m glad she's back to her normal self, whenever she spends a lot period of time with our father, she turns into the complete opposite of her happy, witty self and it can take a long time to get back to herself. I would know, the last time it happened, it took over a year to get her halfway back. I wonder how she’s going to react when she finds out what I’ve been doing for the last three years. I heard footsteps approaching approximately 10ft behind me. 

“There you are Agent Rodriguez.” Antonio said. “I was looking for you.”

“Agent Rodriguez?” Stella said looking at me.

“Yes. I graduated from Quantico two years ago, and I changed my last name to grandpa’s so dad wouldn’t be able to find me. You should have done the same.”

“Why?”

I took a deep breath. “Because you are easy to find.”

“Anyway,” Antonio began, “Stella I asked you to come here because we need to talk about your father.”

“What about him?” Stella asked, her voice flat.

“Rebecca.” Antonio gestured to me.

“He’s on the FBI’s most wanted list,” I swallowed, “and rumor has it, he’s in town.” I watched the expression on her face change to a frozen expression of fear. “I will be going undercover, acting as if I want to be a part of the family business.”

“Like hell you are.” Stella said.

“I am, you don’t have to protect me anymore Stella, its my turn now.”

“I won’t let you, I’ll do it.”

“Ha! That’s not going to happen. I’m in charge of this case, you will be in protective custody.”

“Hold on,” Kelly said, “What does that mean? She’s living with me, we have work.”

“I understand that, but-“

“No.” he said.

“No?”

“I don’t need protection!” Stella said, raising her voice, “I am very capable of protecting myself thank you very much.”

“Like hell you don’t!” I glared at Stella, anger bubbling up in my chest. “I am not going to let you get fucking killed because of your goddamn pride! You’re lucky I even let you get looped in to what we are doing! This is not a fucking game!” I looked around at the shocked faces around me, “Do I make myself clear?” my voice hardened.

“I just don’t think I-” Stella started.

“You never do.” I looked at Stella, “Stel, I love you and I know you can protect yourself, but we both know you let your guard down too easily and I’m not going to take that chance.”

“Just place someone outside my apartment door. She’ll be safe.” Kelly said. I thought about it for a second, and decided I was going to make a compromise.

“Under a few circumstances,” I glanced at Stella “She doesn’t leave a location alone. Ever. There will be a guard outside your apartment, and a few on the outside of the building.”

“Okay.” he said.

“AND your will be briefed about our father.” I looked at Stella. “I’m sorry.” I said, “If he’s going to do this, he has to know.” She nodded, looking defeated.

“Know what?”

I sighed, “Let me start from the beginning.”


	7. The Devil of Her Past

Severide’s POV:

I could feel the tension in the room from the shit storm that had just happened. Stella looked like someone had just slapped her, Rebecca looked like she might cry, and Antonio looked at them both with sadness. All I wanted to know was what in the hell could so bad that it would cause the scene before me. I just wasn’t prepared for what I was going to learn. Rebecca sighed and turned to look at me, “Let me start from the beginning.” She led us to the whiteboard in the next room. 

“Steven Kidd, age 61.” she said sticking a photo to the board. “Wanted for the murders of 43 people, distribution of firearms and stolen goods, and counts of domestic abuse and sexual assault of minors.” she paused glancing Stella and then to me. I looked over at Stella, her face had gotten slightly paler as she looked at the pictures on the board. “Recently, we have tracked him here and heard some rumors that he might be investing in a new business venture with some local cartels.”

“What kind of business?” I asked

“I don’t know,” she said, “That’s what I’m here to figure out.”

“This isn’t a good idea.” Stella said looking at Rebecca.

“This time there are more lives at risk than just ours Stella. Word going around is that this is going to be his last major activity in the U.S. before he flees the country.”

“Then you need my help.” Stella said.

“This is where I explain exactly why that’s not going to be happening.” Rebecca said, “Remember when I said you should’ve changed your name because you’re easy to track?” she asked. I turned to look at Stella, who nodded. “According to some my sources,” she paused, taking a deep breath, “he’s also here for you.” My stomach dropped, the room was silent.

“What does he want with Stella?” I asked nervous.

“I don’t know.” Rebecca said. “I’m not sure if there is even a reason.” She looked down at her watch, “You guys should get going, I don’t want you to miss too much of your shift.”

“I still think I don’t need protection.” Stella muttered.

“Yeah, well I do.” Rebecca replied smiling. She hugged Stella, “Love you big sis.”

“Yeah, yeah love you too.” Stella replied begrudgingly, smiling slightly as she pulled her sister in for one last hug. “I’m proud of you.’ she yelled as she walked towards the stairs.

“Hey Kelly, wait up for one second.” Rebecca called after me. I turned around. “Thank you for everything.”

“Its no problem, you know Stella at first—”

“No, I mean being a good friend. Even though I haven’t seen her in three years, I still keep tabs on her.” she looked down, “She seems happier then I’ve seen her in a long time, so thanks.”

“Of course.” I said tilting my head to look at her. “You’re not going to tell her about that fire I pulled you out of, are you?” I asked.

“At least not today, maybe one day.” she whispered.

“Okay.” I said. I started walking towards the stairs again, “Hey’” I said, she turned around.

“Yeah?”

“Keep me updated, okay?” I asked

“I will.” she nodded. She turned on her heel, and made her way towards Antonio.


	8. Uneasy

Stella’s POV:

I saw Kelly heading down the stairs after me, “Swooping in to save the damsel in distress once again huh?” I said nudging his shoulder playfully.

“She seemed like she was in dire need of help not getting her ass kicked by her sister.” he said, resting an arm loosely around my shoulders. I could feel him looking at me as we walked to our cars, “Are you okay?” he asked me. “That seemed like a lot to take in.”

“I’m not going to let that asshole get to me.” I shrugged, “And besides, I’ve got you to protect me.” I said punching his shoulder lightheartedly. He stood straight and saluted me.

“I promise to protect you with everything in my power.” he said stiffly.

I rolled my eyes, “Drama Queen.” I said smirking at him. 

“Lets go before we get our asses handed to us by Chief.” Kelly said. “Last one back at the firehouse has to make dinner tonight!” he said running towards his car.

“You’re on!” I yelled after him. He had walked me to my car so I had a head start. I was the first one back, I noted that everyone was at the firehouse, so I leaned against the hood of my car, folded my hands and waited for Kelly. 

“BOO!” I heard behind me.

“AAHHH!” I turned around, “KELLY! WHAT THE HELL!” I slapped his chest. He was laughing at me. “Not funny.” I said.

“Aww the little puppy is pouting.” he said, flashing a smile at me.

“This little puppy won’t be pouting when she watches you make dinner tonight.”

“I bet she won’t.” Kelly said looking down at me.

“Hey, where have you guys been?” I heard behind us. We turned around to see Dawson jogging towards us.

“We just came back from CPD.” Kelly answered. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him glance at me with a hesitant expression. Dawson seemed to ignore this, and continued on with her interrogation.

“What did Antonio say?” she asked looking from Kelly to me.

“Nothing.” I said, flashing her a smile. “He just had some questions about the fire from last shift.”

“Okay..” Dawson trailed off, she didn’t sound convinced. “Anyway,” she continued, “Chief said he needed to talk to you two.”

“Thanks for letting us know.” I told her. I made my way up the driveway to the firehouse. I pushed the doors open and was greeted by Herrmann.

“Look who decided to come out of hiding!” he grinned, patting my shoulder. I flinched.

“What’s that supposed mean?” I thought to myself. I quickly shook the thought from my head, reminding myself that they didn't know about my past.

“Where have you been?” he asked, still smiling. I decided to stick to Kelly’s story.

“I was talking with Antonio about the fire last shift.” Everyone in the common room nodded as if this was an acceptable answer to the question. Before anymore questions could be asked, I turned on my heel and booked it to Chief’s office. I entered his office and saw Kelly already sitting in one of the chairs facing Chief’s desk.

“Come sit Stella.” Chief gestured to the chair next to Kelly. “Let’s talk.”


	9. Avoidance

Severide’s POV:

“So what’s this situation all about?” Chief asked looking from me to Stella.

“Nothing.” Stella said. “Its all under control, nothing to worry about.” I glanced at Stella wondering why she was lying to Chief.

“Uh huh.” Chief said weaving his fingers together and leaning back in his chair. “So all of that urgency was over.. nothing?” He didn’t sound convinced.

“Its really nothing.” Stella said.

“Well if you ever need to talk about “nothing” don’t hesitate to talk to me. We are a family here at 51, and family protects each other.” Stella nodded. “Kelly, anything to add?” Chief asked me.

“No Sir.” I replied.

“Alright then. You are dismissed.” Once we were out of the office I stopped Stella.

“Are you crazy lying to Chief?” I whispered. “He didn’t buy that at all!”

“What was I supposed to do Kelly?” she shot back.

“Tell him the truth?”

“Its not that simple Kelly.”

“Why not?!” I said, my voice raising. “This house is family.” I looked at her “We’re family.” Before she could say anything I walked away. I ran my fingers through my hair. “Arrg, why is she doing this?” I thought to myself, aggravated. “She has too much pride.”

“Hey Kelly—” Matt started. I pushed past him, made my way to my office and slammed the door. I put my head in my hands. I started thinking about Stella and what her sister had told me. I knew she hadn't told me all of it. “Maybe Stella will tell me one day.” I thought to myself. As I kept thinking about the information that I had just learned, my thoughts started to turn dark. I was thinking about what their father had done to them, and that what I had been told was just sugarcoated. I could feel my eyes water and my throat start to ache. I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes trying to stop the tears that felt like they were about to pour out of me. I heard a knock at the door. I took a deep breath, wiped my eyes quickly and looked up. Matt gave me a small wave from the other side of the door. I nodded for him to come in.

“Hey Kelly. What’s going on with you?” He asked me, looking concerned.

“Its nothing, I’m fine.” I replied, giving him a small smile.

“Yeah, well Gabby says that too, but I’ve learned never to believe that answer.” He chuckled. I gave a small chuckle. “Does this have anything to do with where you went earlier today?” I nodded. “Well,” he said, “since I’m the Captain, personal concerns are part of my job description, so I’m going to have to require you to tell me what’s going on.” he smirked.

“I can’t do that Matt.” I said. “I went with Stella down to CPD to talk to Antonio. Its her information to tell.”

“And I understand that Severide, but if this information has details concerning the safety of any of the members of 51, I need to know about it.”

“Chief tried Matt, and she doesn’t want to tell anyone.” I said.

“Then why'd she let you go?” he asked, suspicious. “Is there something going on betw—“

“No. Not at the moment, no.”

“Not at the moment?” He asked, his eyebrow raised.

“I don’t know…” I trailed off. “Maybe someday.”

“Okay…” Matt said. “But seriously Kelly, I need to know.”

“I-I don’t know what to do.” I said my voice cracking. A concerned look shadowed Matt’s face. He closed the door behind him, crossed the room, and sat down on my bed.

“What’s going on Kelly?” His voice getting serious. I briefly skim over the story, not giving too much detail. When I finished Matt looked at me with a deeply worried look. “She’s been dealing with this on her own for this long?” He looked at me. “Did you know about this before today?”

“No.” I said, lowering my head.

“Okay..” he said, watching me, “Well, thank you for telling me.”

“Yeah.” I said. I watched as Matt got up and headed towards the door. “Hey Matt.” I said.

“Yeah Kelly?”

“Just don’t tell Stella.”

“You know I can’t do that Kelly.” He squeezed my shoulder and walked out of my office. I sighed, leaning back in my chair, just as the alarm sounded and speaker said “Squad 3, Truck 81, Ambulance 61, overturned gas truck—” I didn’t wait to listen to the address. I sprinted to the floor, throwing on my fire suit and quickly as I could. This was going to be one of the most horrific scenes I’d seen in a while.


	10. She's A Fighter

Stella’s POV:

When we reached the scene of the fire, I saw that the gas truck had driven through the front of an office building. Several cars were overturned, the gas tank had been punctured, and gas was pouring out of the truck. What was even more worrying, was the fact that a fire had started where the truck had crashed into the building, and the fire was spreading towards the gas.

“Stella!” Casey called. “Go with Herrmann and Otis to get people out of the building!”

“Copy that Casey!” I said, running towards the building. We had gotten the majority of the victims out, and as I turned to drag the last person out with me, I heard a boom! and then everything went dark.

Severide’s POV:

Behind me I heard an explosion. I whipped around to see that the fire had reached the gas that slipped from the truck, and the contact had caused an explosion that had caused the building to start to collapse. I saw that the fire was starting to make its way towards the opening of the barrel of gas, which would kill us all if we didn’t stop it. “Casey!” I yelled. Casey looked over at me.

“Yeah?” he yelled back.

“We need to stop that fire from reaching the opening!” I yelled, pointing to where the metal had been punctured. 

“On it!” he said. “Wait! Severide!” He screamed after me. “Stella’s inside the building! She went to get the last victim!”

“Don’t worry Captain we got it! Cruz yelled.

“I’m not sending anyone in there!” Chief said. “Its too dangerous!”

“I’ve got it Chief! Let me do it!”

“Fine. You've got one minute! Retreat when I say!” he said, giving me a look.

“Yes Chief! Cruz stand out here in case I need help getting them out!”

“Yes Lieutenant!”

I took a deep breath, then squeezed through an opening in the debris. “Chicago Fire Department call out!” I screamed. I strained to hear Stella’s PASS device chirp. 

“Over here!” I heard someone call out. I ran over to find a man behind a burning desk. 

“Can you walk?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Okay lets go—”

“Wait help the firefighter who saved me! I think she's over there!” He pointed behind him to the left. “The ceiling collapsed on her!” 

“Thanks for telling me.”

Chief’s POV:

“I need some help over here!” Cruz called. I watched Herrmann and Cruz pull a burned, but alive man through the wall, and Dawson and Brett run to help. But I didn’t see Severide with Kidd. “Come on Kelly.” I thought to myself, looking at the building being engulfed, “Times running out.”

Severide’s POV:

I head deeper into the fire. I see a hand sticking out beneath a pile of rubble. “Stella!” I Scream. I begin tearing the debris off of her. “Stella you’re going to be okay! I’ve got you!” When I finally got everything off of her, I saw that her helmet and oxygen had been knocked off. I picked her up and ran towards the exit. Once I got out of the building I screamed “Someone help me! I need help over here! HELP!” Dawson and Brett rushed over with a gurney. When I put her down, I saw that she had been severely burned, blood was dripping from her head and she was unconscious.

“There's no heartbeat!” Dawson said worriedly. I started compressions. 

“Come on Stella, come on!” My voice sounded weak, almost like a whimper. Everyone around me looked at one another concerned, and then complete relief when we heard the glorious beep on the heart monitor.

“We have a pulse! We are going to have to intubate because of the burns on her neck.”

“Chief!” I yelled. “Can I—”

“Go.” he nodded. I climbed into the ambulance.

~ At the Hospital ~

Severide’s POV:

I paced back and forth in the waiting room.

“Don’t worry.” Herrmann said. “Stella’s a fighter, she’ll be back and poking fun at us in no time.” He was met with silence. Dr. Halstead walked out and I ran up to him.

“How is she? Is she okay? Can I see her?”

“Hold on Kelly.” he said putting a hand on my shoulder. He turned to everyone, “Its going to be a long surgery, we have a ways to go. The burns on her neck will heal. She has third degree burns on her right shoulder, that extend down her back, as well as lacerations on her left side that will need to have stitches. She also had some pieces of metal shrapnel in her abdomen, that has caused some internal bleeding. We suspect that she has a concussion, but until we stop the bleeding, we won’t be able to do a scan to find out how bad. We’ll let you know if there are any updates.”

“Okay. Thank you Dr. Halstead.” Chief said. “Alright everyone, you heard him. There’s nothing we can do right now.” As everyone started getting up to leave Chief turned to me and said “Son, you can stay if you want.”

“Thank you Chief.” I said relieved. Once everyone had left, Will motioned for me to follow him.

“You can sit outside of the operating room as long as you sit and be quiet.” he said giving me a look. I don’t have the best track record with being patient.

“Okay. Thank you Dr. Halstead.”

“Sure thing Kelly.” he said patting my shoulder. He turned and went back into the operating room. I sat there for what seemed like hours, my mind foggy, only to be snapped out of it by screeching alarms, a panic inside the room, and nurses running in and out of the room. I got up looking around. “What’s going on?!” I ask Maggie. I turned to see them shocking Stella. “You need to help her!” I yelled fear rising in me. “Not again.”I thought. “No, no, no not again.” “Someone help her!” I screamed my body lurching forward. Only to be held back by Maggie, who looked at me with sadness in her eyes.


	11. Confessions

Severide’s POV:

The alarms had stopped their screaming, and Stella was breathing again. I sat there with head in my hands, tears spilling out of my eyes. Until now I hadn’t really realized how much I had come to love the spunky, coy and kind woman that is Stella Kidd. What if I realized it too late? What if she didn’t pull through? Or what if she wasn’t the same? I heard a soft “Hey.” behind me. I turned to see Dawson looking at me.

“How is she?” she asked me.

“I-I don’t know…. Th-they had to—” I started.

“Maggie told me.” she said, looking at me carefully. “Any updates?”

“They’re still working on her.” I gestured towards the room, taking a deep breath.

“Okay, well, call us if there’s any news.” she said gently. I nodded.

30 minutes later, Dr. Halstead walked out of the operating room, taking off his bloodstained gloves. We stopped the bleeding, but the war is not over yet.

“What do you mean?”I asked.

“We still need to do a scan of her brain to see if there is any bleeding or brain injuries, and if there is, there could be complications.”

“Why?”

“Because it took us so long to fix the internal bleeding, if there is anything wrong with her brain, all that time passing did not help things.”

“Oh.”

“I’ll call Chief Boden with the updates okay Kelly? I know this is a lot to process.” he said. I nodded. Watched as they prepared Stella for her head scan. As they rolled her out of the room, my voice caught in my throat, and my hand flew to my mouth when I saw her. “Kelly.” A soft voice called behind me. “Kelly.” I turned to see Maggie looking at me. “Come with me.” she gestured for me to follow her.

“But”

“She’ll be down soon and then you can see her.” Maggie told me.

“Okay.” I felt my phone buzz. I pulled it out and saw a text from Rebecca.

 

 

 

__

_“Hey Kelly.” Maggie said. “You can go see her now.”_

_“Okay. Where is she?”_

_“In the ICU, I’ll take you.”_

_“Thanks.”_

_When we reached Stella’s room, I felt like I was dreaming. The woman laying there didn’t look like Stella. She looked small and weak, nothing like the strong and defiant Stella that I knew. I walked over to the side of her bed. I pulled a chair up, and sat down beside her, taking her hand into both of mine. “I’m so sorry Stella.” I whispered. “Life’s too short. I should’ve told you how I felt. I almost lost you.” I said, my voice breaking. “I love you Stella Kidd, you are like no one I’ve ever met, and I love you for that. So please don’t leave me, I need someone to give me a hard time.”_

_“Oh stop it with all that feeling nonsense.” she said giving me a weak smirk._

_“Stella! Oh thank god!” I wrapped my arm around her._

_“Ow!”_

_“Sorry, sorry!” I jumped back. She gave me a small smile and intertwined her fingers with mine._

_“You still have to make me dinner.” She mumbled, her eyes drooping._

_“I didn’t forget.” I said looking at her. “Hey Stella?’_

_“Hm?”_

_“You never answered my question.”_

_“What question?”_

_“About you being my date to the academy dinner.”_

_“Yes, I will be your date to the academy dinner. Now can I go to sleep?”_

_“Yes, thank you.” I said, kissing the back of her hand. I watched as she drifted to sleep. Once she was asleep, I laid my head down on the side of the bed, still holding  
her hand, as I slowly drifted to sleep._


	12. Stella's Nightmare

Stella’s POV:

I was in a dimly lit room. Where there was the most light, there was a piano. I used to love playing the piano, until it became one of the things my dad made me do to entertain the people at his parties. I walked over to the piano, and sat down on the bench. I reached up to place my fingers on the keys, only to feel them burn me. I jerked my hand back. I looked up to see my father standing there. I deep fear ran through me, making my insides turn.

“Mi hija.” he said, opening his arms, and walking towards me. “How much I’ve missed you.”

“Get away from me!” I hissed.

“tsk, tsk. That’s no way to speak to your father, now is it?” he said, his voice hardening. I got up from the piano, and began running towards the door. “Stop her!” I heard my father yell from behind me. I saw two pairs of hands emerge from the darkness. I felt them grab me and pin me to the wall. “You shouldn’t have tried to do that.” my father said, shaking his head. “You used to be so well behaved Stella. I guess you’ll have to be trained again.”

“No!” I screamed. “You can’t make me!” I screamed louder as he neared me. Just as he reached me, I jolted awake. My head pounding so hard it felt like my sulk was splitting. My vision was blurred, and my ears were ringing. “Ah!” I yelled, clutching my head in agony. Kelly bolted awake next to me.

“What’s wrong?!” He asked sounding panicked.

“My head..” I groaned. I heard bells going off around me. “Kelly? What’s going on?” I asked, dazed and confused. Where was I? Where are these alarms coming from? What’s going on? I thought to myself.

“MAGGIE!” I heard Kelly yell next to me. I saw a blur of blue rush next to me. I felt hands pushing me back against the bed. 

“Honey you’re going to have to calm down. You are having a panic attack, which it elevating your heart too much. I can get you something for the pain, but you’re going to have to calm down.” Maggie said gently. “Can you do that for me?” I nodded. I tried to take deep breaths, but they were shaky. I felt Kelly run his thumb over my hand. I felt the sharp edge of the pain ebb away. I started to calm down, I could feel my heart slow to a more normal pace. “Feeling better?” Maggie asked me.

“Yes. Thank you.” I said weakly. Maggie gave me a small smile.

“I’ll come back to check on you a little later okay?” she said softly.

“Okay.” I said. I watched as she left my room. I looked over at Kelly, who was coming back to his spot next to me. He ran a hand over his face as he neared me. I had a sudden rush of emotion go through me, this burst of fear and pain of my past ran through me. 

“What’s wrong?” Kelly asked me. I used all of my energy to sit up enough on my side to look at him. When I opened my mouth to speak, all that came out was a sob. I buried my head in his shoulder, as sob after sob rocked my body. I couldn’t remember the last time I had cried like this. 

“Hey its okay.” Kelly said wrapping his arms around me, pulling me closer to him. “Its okay, I’ve got you.”

Severide’s POV:

My heart broke for Stella. I wish I could take away all of her pain. I watched as her tears dried.

“Can you lay next to me?” she asked, looking up at me with her swollen eyes.

“I don’t think thats a good idea—”

“Please?”

“Okay.”

“Thank you.” she said, her voice raspier than normal. She scooted over, and I carefully laid down next to her. She snuggled against me and closed her eyes. She looked so innocent and calm that for a moment I forgot about what was going on with her sister. But I was quickly reminded when my phone buzzed in my pocket.

 

__


End file.
